My Passionate

Everyday I am wondering about my next move..because I am waiting for the response even though I don't know for sure whether I will get a positive response..I am wondering whether I should just move on or I should not giving up on waiting as I had been waiting for this long, my voice tells me I shouldn't stop waiting as it is my dream to get it but it just keeps me wondering whether it is worth for me to do so..

On the other hand, I am heart broken by the way the real situation existed after I realised the truth behind..it is indeed very cruel to me..I am sick of the nice words I heard every time they realise the mistake they had made, chance has been given and there will be no more chance from me. Sometime I feel like I was just wasting my time giving out something which I realised it is not being appreciated. After all, the unpredictable potential appeared to be very hard to be realised when the effort was gone to nothing. Huh! Too much worrying to figure.

陈年旧事

一年前，(他)害惨了我们一家。（他）就是一位高学历可是无人情的（人），整天带着假面具对人，还喜欢炫耀自己很有钱 （还好我没跟他买保险）的“自恋狂”。 我弟弟的脚因车祸受伤，全是因为（他）鲁莽驾驶，造成我们的痛苦，幸亏那时候爸爸还在人间，因为爸爸当时懂得买很多补药和补伤口的药，弟弟才会那么快好起来，不然开了刀就只有医院给的止痛药和避免伤口发炎的药。弟弟还自掏腰包做物理治疗呢！（他）懂吗？以为只付了医院的手术费弟弟才会那么快好起来，没有爸爸的细心照料，可见弟弟差点就不能去考试毕业了。那时（他）说会承担医药费，我们才没追究。现在他知道弟弟开始有了自己的事业，就要弟弟还医药费，天啊！ 这个世界怎么会让我们遇到这种人呢？遍遍是一位资深的老师，我说是腐败的老师！！别去教坏纯真的学生。

我们家好不容易才开始平静了下来，这（人）又突然间吵着要我们还钱，明明是他错，还要狡辩。。我知道；一来是他没办法拿到我弟弟的保险费，就追着我们来。我们也一样没钱拿，当时还花了一笔钱去做物理治疗和买药补伤口都没和（他）要，现在反而不负责任地把事情推得一干二净。假如当初我们有错，我们当然愿意承担一半费用，可是却是完全（他）的错，我们不能被（他）说服。。当初假如我们要追究，（他）今天要问更应该是求原谅。真后悔当初我们就这么轻易地原谅他。 真希望爸爸还在我们身边，爸爸一定知道怎么做。。那天的一点一滴我还很清楚的记得，泪流满面，紧张的心情，每一天我都得载送负伤的弟弟去考试，还监督弟弟以确定他顺利地踏进考场门口，避免他的伤口再次裂开。弟弟还要空出温习时间去医院复诊和做治疗，我相信（他）这一辈子都不曾遇过这么悲惨的事，（他）那狼心狗肺的心哪会懂我们的心情，更好笑的就是（他）以为当初（他）付医药费是在帮我们解决医药问题，我不以为然，明明是为自己犯的错负责，反而说我们欠（他）的，脑袋真是装了些歪理，真是要提提醒（他），那些只会为（他）所讲的话表示点头又没判断能力可以闪一边去。。

算我求你，别再来烦我们了，你还嫌我们生活不够悲惨吗？

My Real Intention

The other day my colleague was still talking about research work, I just realize that I haven’t done research for a year, oh gosh…I miss my research work so much and I miss my plants too; wondering how are they now, but I guess without a proper care of the smaller age plants, they are dying..

Right now I still need to think of my own side, which aspect I really care about; whether is my own interest or money since that these days I started to have my own commitment and responsibilities.

Sometime when thought of my office works really make me suffocate, as it is not as easy as you think it might be. The difficulty doubles for multiple times when you become the middle person of 2 parties and when the other side doesn’t understand the culture at here. The more mission and more target, the more dislike felt inside each person. Due to tension everybody felt, suddenly 2 staffs from my office quarreled over their task which is supposed to be cooperate with each other. This could happen mainly due to miscommunication. This is very surprising as before the new staff came in, all of us were quite good in relationship with each other, now they even argue with the presence of our manager. I know that the newcomer is some kind of bad tempered person with no tolerance to others but at least she should respect other people when arguing or try to understand other people feeling.

Different dilemma can occur within an office, if everybody can just tolerate and when people make mistake, just talk nicely to them as they are your friends and colleagues, better be more friends than more foes. This is an exception to the lab juniors as they are student with no experience in labwork, to protect our limited chemical source bought with limited grant and avoid any wastage, it is advisable to strict to the junior, hahahaha..

Nothing is perfect

'Nothing is perfect', this thought come across my mind when stuck between two options to make. Choosing one will tend to lose the characteristic of another one. It's extremely hard to make a decision when your intention is not to give bad impression on another or regretting of making another decision..going  bed to sleep for a while won't help much as the problem is still existing. oh....haiz........

A liar

I can't believe this is happening, when i have rushed everything to make it on time, all I have hoped for and have done is just come to nothing when procrastination occurs. You are the one that promised to do it on the week but instead you just forget about it and put it aside..I thought the things were done as claimed but then when the time ends, i found out it is not really the case..now what i expected to happen has come to nothing..all i really hope now is that the possibility will emerge in the reality so that i can reach my goal..what a pathetic situation..the moment i found out my name was not in the list, i was felt like disappointed, crying and end of the world..then further investigation revealed that it was his fault..the more i think, the more i hate him..yesterday, i was just angry for a few hours and then i come back to normal emotion, deep inside my heart, i know there is nothing more i can do about, what i can do is just pray that there is another chance for me to catch up, he is not that worth for ruin my day..people should really take serious of what they had promised and execute it as soon as possible.

歲月

這幾天日子過得有點不自在，沒爸爸的日子的確很難熬；無論如何我覺得爸爸會洞悉我們的心情和日常活動。。所以，我們不可讓爸爸擔心。。

我的生活每天都很忙碌，週末還要帶媽媽去買東西，沒時間想我的未來計劃。。想起以前，我的生活實在是太舒服和自由自在，爸爸在我們的生活扮演着很重要的角色。。現在我和弟弟都要幫忙爸爸處理這個家。。的確不容易。。

慢慢的要經過一段長時間才能適應起來。。加油吧！！

呈现给我最敬爱的爸爸

前星期，爸爸就突然的这样走了，我们对这件事还是很难接受。。我一直问天，为什么要把爸爸带走。。

爸爸代人处事总是那么地真诚，善解人意， 平易近人， 每个亲朋好友都对他赞不绝口尤其是对待儿女， 听了都为爸爸骄傲和光荣。。只是爸爸太早走， 我都还来不及孝顺爸爸，带他吃好吃的食物，让他享受，树欲止而风不止， 子欲养而亲不在，这是我这一辈子最遗憾的事。。谁也无法取代他在我们心中地位。。

以后，再也没人天天问我从放工回家的路上会多车辆吗，当我生病时没人坐药给我吃， 没人买我最爱吃的东西给我吃，没人教我认路。。。，。。。。，。。。 （情绪不稳定，不能够继续写下去了）

无论如何，爸爸永远留在我们的心中，每天都会觉得他还在我们身边。。放心吧爸爸， 我们会好好照顾自己的。。您一直都为我们；为这个家奔波劳碌， 爸爸好好休息吧。。来世再见。。